I guess it's a start

So, my question for you is... What do you want to be when you grow up?

i remember back in grade school, i just want to quit studying and play video games for the rest of my life.i didn't 
want to do anything that would stress my brain.i just want to enjoy and enjoy and enjoy; til my last breath, playing video games. period. it was my life i couldn't live without it. 

i never had a really clear direction in my head. i envied my classmates for having the ability to answer "what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up question." i couldn't answer it. i'd come up with a very clever response though. 


grade school teacher: Roland, what do you want to be when you grow up?


me: (looks at my classmate who just answer the question) well, just like him.


and then after saying that, i'd come up with an on-the-spot explanation as to why i wanted it. i was a quick thinker, snappy in coming up with brilliant explanations to justify my answer (though, most of them were lies, of course). it was probably why i was extemporaneous speech champion in my school for two years and why i won as best dabater (without ever preparing any of my answers beforehand.)


i can boast about those achievements all night long but in reality, i actually hated it, because of the ability to come up answers (or lies) granted me the option to never have to answer "what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up question." ever again. if anyone would dare ask me to answer that question,i'd just tap it into my brain and come up with a stupid lie to answer it.


what can i answer anyway? i had no talent whatsoever, i wasn't smart, and i never cared about world peace, and the only thing i'm good at is playing stupid children games. so for the longest time in my life, i had no idea who i was or where i was headed. no idea at all.


then i met Jesus. now you would think that it would solve everything-but no. it did give me however, an assurance of salvation and that i actually had a purpose. i just had to know what it was, but for some reason i couldn't find it. i still didn't know where i was headed, but now i know that Someone's got my back, and it made me feel better. oh and uh... it made me reconsider world peace.


it was in high school where things were to take an interesting twist. one day, a classmate of mine brought a guitar to the classroom. i thought, "what a strange looking instrument..." he told me to give it a try, and i did. I SUCKED. i gave up the instant i felt my fingers hurting. but for some reason, i thought it was interesting. not because i sucked, but the fact that i might have found something that can keep me occupied during break times from class hours.


i noticed i was learning to play really fast. i couldn't believe it. a computer nerd/geeky looking guy like me, may actually have some sort of talent after all. heck, maybe i could form a band someday, write my own songs, and become President of the Philippines. 


another classmate of mine eventually brought a cd of Switchfoot and i instantly got hooked. the guitar riffs were amazing and the song writing was absolutely brilliant. Jonathan Foreman. that's the name of the frontman of the band. i'll never forget that name. the message in his songs even helped strengthen my faith. i looked up to him as a role model. it's amazing, how he inspires the younger generation with his music. 


then it hit me.i think that's what i want to be. i now had a better answer to the  "what-do-you-want-to-be-when-you-grow-up question.". i want to inspire the younger generation through music. "not a bad answer" i thought. i guess it's a start.